I guess me and my brothers are simply not the "commitment" type of people...

I think blogging is practically becoming the single refuge of my wandering mind. Facebook is too prominent, too many people reading who will give rubbish comment. At least with this blog, its not in anyone's sight.

Many projects are rushing in. I am the leader of a 9-men Aircraft Design team. I hope all my OCS training comes into good use, to lead, to excel, to overcome. I also hope that I have the resourcefulness, the resilience and the smarts to overcome all the obstacles. So many projects so little time, I have to confine myself to being a hermit again.

I worry about the future just as anybody do. What am I going to become....

Many times I thought people were made of sterner stuff, I was proven wrong. I always say to myself, if I wanted something real bad, I'd do something about. I may not have achieved everything I aimed for, but I'm sure I did manage to improve my life a lot. I'm glad that I managed to turn myself from a skinny boy to a meaty boy. I'm glad I managed to persevere with my guitar, something which my mom thought initially was going to be just another one of my whims. I'm glad that I made it into the course I wanted to be in. I'm glad that although I never did manage to get a first class, I have a good chance of getting a second upper. I'm glad that I manage to wake early and sleep early everyday, to the incredulity of everyone. I'm glad I am a metalhead, even though its beyond most people's comprehension.

There is a price to pay for perseverance. I paid that price; I sacrificed time, I sacrificed money. Ultimately I did not regret what I have achieved. Sometimes you really have to harden your resolve, and keep on walking. Exactly what I have learnt in the army, and right now in school. I've always told myself, time is ever passing, soon the end will be in sight. Work hard now and the end will be a bright light.

From the excellent movie, Once:

Falling Slowly

I think this is a movie u can watch, again, and again, and again, and like great literature, you will get something out of it, each time. a new revelation, a new insight, a new sense of wisdom; the same feeling i had when i read and re-read to kill a mockingbird.

starring ethan hawke and an incredible julie delpy, this movie is simply a story about people. people, in terms of love, sex, and relationships with each other in general. this is a minimalist film, mostly dialogue, and it is wonderful in that way. it didnt matter that they were in vienna; they could have been in singapore right next door to you and it would not detract from their now-time, eventually sagging into the real time. it is like reading a book on the philosophy of life and love, and the book is personified. the viewer is drawn into the flow, the sense of being in the greatest relationship of your life, but only before sunrise.

Jesse - "OK, well this was my thought: 50,000 years ago, there are not even a million people on the planet. 10,000 years ago, there's, like, two million people on the planet. Now there's between five and six billion people on the planet, right? Now, if we all have our own, like, individual, unique soul, right, where do they all come from? You know, are modern souls only a fraction of the original souls? 'Cause if they are, that represents a 5,000 to 1 split of each soul in the last 50,000 years, which is, like, a blip in the Earth's time. You know, so at best we're like these tiny fractions of people, you know, walking... I mean, is that why we're so scattered? You know, is that why we're all so specialized?"